IJAM monikers? and they called me ...?

it was inevitable.

sacto floyd commented: "In addition to renaming Mitch, you should start a contest on appropriate monikers your dates might give you. I'll start with Marianas Trench...as in Shirl's way too deep to explore, and if you do manage to go there, she'll crush you like an eggshell."

in response ...

i say this about each of them.
MAYBE, just maybe, each has a moniker for me
and they may say something like ...

1. artist says ... random conversation generator [rank: 2]
2. teethpicker says ... didn't finish her food [rank: 4+]
   
3. dentist says ... faghag [rank: 3- ... though i view this as a 3+]
4. bourgeois says ... rice talk [rank: 10- ... he did both (see below for "rank 5-" description) in the bathroom. i should pay for his therapy bill. i should be ashamed of myself.]
5. tmi garden gnome ... she is taller than i thought she'd be [rank: 2]
   
6. sweet guy ... pricey date [rank: 3-]
   
7. i-dontmin-to-brrrraaahhhg-but ... filipina engineer [rank: 4+]
8. dot com guy ... jaded kindred spirit [rank: 2 ... i'd like to believe our moment of commiseration and intelligent conversation contributed to this o.k. description]
9. salesguy ... another (!) asian gal !? [rank: 3-]
   
10. teacher ... not-atkins-friendly [rank: 3- ... tho' i see this as a 3+]
    
11. rich ... new friend [rank: 5+]
    
12. eye-contact man ... shoot me [rank: 5- ... once again, i am sooooo sorry. i really, really was not a match for you. i should not have contributed more to your future disdain for IJAM. i take total responsibility. if i could, i'd name a cruise ship after you.]
    
13. e-bay man ... short [rank: 5+]
    
14. the exec ... she didn't hit me or throw a bottle at me!? [rank: for now ... pls. refer to item 14 in the original post]
    
15. dancer ... flake [rank: 3-]
    
16. last guy ... who? [rank: 5+]
    

what is this?
above is what i think each could/should/would have said in his description or debrief of his IJAM encounter with me in professional-speak ('cuz i'm sure there was some cursing going on with a few).

is it credible?
inspired by Lunaniña's blog, where free association lives (!) ... i let them channel through me. (read: i re-read what i wrote & had a little picture of each IJAM dude in my head.)

what is the rank number?
i have ranked the moniker from 1 to 5. for ranks that are 3, 4, or 5, a + or - (plus or minus) designation is given, depending on whether i thought the description is what IJAM dude had intended to be a positive or negative comment (symbols are our friends)

• "rank: 1" being ... "not so sure if IJAM dude would mock call me this" and
• "rank: 5-" being ... "yeah, this was carved on the bathroom wall ... or written in blood ... when he excused himself from the table" ...
  
• "rank 5+" being ... "it's totally coooool!"
  

'nuff said. have at it.